Your Words Carry Weight.
When I was in high school and college, I really developed and mastered the art of sarcasm. Anybody else have this talent?
For me and my friends, sarcasm was our sense of humor. Being sarcastic, saying things that had a little bit of truth in a hurtful but kinda funny way, it’s just what we did.
You know what this is like. When someone who is always late finally shows up and you say something like, “Thanks for gracing us with your presence!”
Or, when someone gets dressed to go to church, or school, or to wherever you’re going for dinner and you say, “That’s an interesting outfit. Were you going for the ‘before’ picture?”
While there MIGHT be a time and place for that kind of humor with friends, what I want to suggest today is that sarcasm has NO PLACE in your family. And the reason why is because…
Your words carry weight.
I think we all know this is true but it’s something every one of us forgets every single day.
Some words carry more weight than others and it all depends on WHO said WHAT.
Who Said What
Let’s just take a moment to think about how much weight our words carry.
Just imagine for a moment that a teacher tells my daughter Emma at school one day… Emma, you are really smart! That one comment from a teacher might way 10lbs!
But that same comment from a friend might only weigh 5lbs.
Now, imagine Emma coming home from a hard day at school. She’s struggling with her homework. Her mom sits down with her, as her mother, to help her. They work and work trying to learn the concept, or memorize the study guide, or whatever it is. And then, it happens, it finally clicks! And Alisha looks Emma in the eye after all that hard work and she tells her, “Emma, you are really smart!”
How much weight do you think her words carry in that moment?
Those words weigh a lot. And part of it is WHAT is said but even more importantly, WHO said it!
Now imagine one day, my daughter Gracie is at church and she’s with the youth group and one of her friends makes a negative comment about her outfit. A negative comment from a friend about an outfit to a girl, that weighs a lot.
Now, imagine right after that, Gracie’s youth minister who she looks up to, respects, and thinks she hung the moon… And by the way she would NEVER EVER do this, but just imagine that right after Gracie’s friend made a negative comment about her outfit her youth minister came over and said something like, “Yea… I would never wear that!” It’s like she just handed Gracie the heaviest weight in the world.
Those words carry a lot of weight for her. Now Gracie is really hurting, her youth minister is looking for a new job, and we’re all wondering what’s going to happen next. 🙂
Again… this is an extreme example, but I think you see what I’m trying to say… Our words carry weight.
One more… Let’s look at a day in the life of my son Will. And let’s just base this on a real life example. I’ve got Will’s permission to do this.
Let’s say one day Will goes to school. He has a decent day. Then he has a baseball game that night. And we’ve all been there, we’ve all had a day like this… but it’s just not his day. He can’t hit a ball to save his life. He makes 2 or 3 errors on defensive and it’s just not working today.
Immediately, that inner voice inside his head begins to tell him that’s he’s terrible! Well, those words from that internal voice are so heavy.
But what’s worse, one of his teammates yells at him for missing a ground ball and says, “You stink!” Ouch! That’s like adding another 25lbs.
Then, his coach barks at him and tells him to get his act together or go home. That’s like a 45lbs weight coming from his coach.
Will gets home that night just defeated. He is so weighed down from all the weight he’s carrying you can’t even scrape him off the floor. And that’s when I walk in the room. And I’m his DAD.
And dad’s, let me just be real honest with you right here. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this exact moment and I bet you have, too. In the car ride home from the ball field with your son or daughter… After a tough loss or poor performance… After a bad grade or a day when things just didn’t go their way…
I’ve got ONE SHOT in this moment to do and say the right thing. You’ve got ONE SHOT in this moment to do and say the right thing. If you miss it you may regret it the rest of your life.
If you pile on and, even trying to be funny, even trying to be sarcastic, say something like… “Man, you really stunk it up today!” Or, “What was wrong with you?” Or, “Why did you do that?” Or, “Why didn’t you do this?” It’s like you just piled all the weights in the weight room on your kid. That’s how much weight your words carry as their father.
But… if you tell him:
“I love you. I’m proud of you. And I love watching you play.”
If you tell him:
“Tomorrow’s a new day. You are good. Keep up the good work.”
If I remind him of who he is… you are MY SON, and you are LOVED, it’s not that you’ve put weight on the other side to balance him out… it’s that your kind words of love, pride and support have allowed him to lay all these weights down.
Some words carry more weight than others and it all depends on WHO said WHAT.
Weighty Words from the Apostle Paul
That’s why I think the Apostle Paul, who was like a father in the faith to so many, always took time to encourage people in the faith.
Sometimes Paul would have to say hard things. All of his letters are corrective teaching for the church. And that’s important to remember.
What Paul wanted more than anything was to pass on faith to the next generation of believers in Jesus. Sometimes that meant having hard but necessary conversations, always speaking the truth in love, but teaching, correcting, guiding, and equipping the next generation with deep roots and ready wings.
But Paul understood that his words carried a lot of weight. So I want you to see what he writes to the church in Ephesus around AD 60. At this point in history, the church is up under a lot of adversity. They’re carrying a lot of weight.
Paul could have said a lot of things. He could have told them to straighten up, pull it together, stop messing up, or a hundred other things.
But listen to how Paul opens this letter, understanding how much weight his words carry…
Ephesians 1.15-23
15 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere, 16 I have not stopped thanking God for you.
It is good to tell people… “I have not stopped thanking God for you…”
It is good to tell your kids… “I have not stopped thanking God for you…”
Can you hear Paul’s pride in his voice? He’s like a father to these new believers in Jesus. He know’s his words carry weight. And what does he say? How does he express his pride?
I have not stopped thanking God for you.
But he doesn’t stop there. He continues…
I pray for you constantly, 17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
2 Things You Should Tell Your Kids
Here’s two things we should tell our kids often:
I have not stopped thanking God for you. AND… I pray for you constantly.
When was the last time you told your kids that you are praying for them? Or you asked your kids… How can I pray for you today?
3 Things You Should Pray for Your Kids
Don’t know what to pray? Try this…
Pray for them to have…
- A Spirit of Wisdom – so they can GROW in their knowledge of God!
- Hearts Flooded with Light – so they can understand our Confident Hope!
This is what Paul was praying for them, but he wasn’t just praying this for them, he told them that this is what he was praying for them!
Don’t forget that your words carry weight and when you tell people you’re praying for them and WHAT your praying for them, those words carry weight.
Paul says, I’m praying for you to have spiritual wisdom, hearts flooded with light, and…
19-20 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.
What else does Paul pray for?
- Understand God’s incredible greatness & power for us who believe in Him!
A Big View of God
Perhaps the BEST thing you can do is give your kids a BIG view of God!
When our kids were little we taught them this song… My God is so BIG, So strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do.
But I sometimes wonder if the adults who sing these songs to kids actually believe those words?
If we’re going to give our kids a BIG view of God, we have to Believe in the BIGG-NESS, the GREATNESS of our GREAT GOD!
Do not minimize your God. Do not put Him in a box. He cannot be contained and He cannot be tamed. He cannot be controlled. He is GOD! Indescribable. Incomprehensible. Uncontainable. We can only see in a mirror dimly as we begin to understand who He is and how great He is!
Tell your kids who God is, how great God is. And tell them…
21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.
This is the greatness of our God! And He is FOR US.
What God Says About You
In fact, Paul wanted them to know like he wants us to know what our Father in Heaven thinks of us. Listen to what Paul would go on to say in this letter and other letters…
You are a CHILD OF GOD, God is your FATHER (Romans 8:14–15; Galatians 3:26; 4:6).
You are a joint heir with Christ, sharing in His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17).
You are a temple—a dwelling place—of God. His Spirit lives in you (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19).
You are united to Christ and you are one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:17).
You are a member of Christ’s body (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30).
You are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).
You are reconciled to God and you are a minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18–19).
You are a son, a daughter, of God and one in Christ (Galatians 3:26, 28).
You are an heir of God since you are a child of God (Galatians 4:6–7).
You are a saint, You are holy (1 Corinthians 1:2; Ephesians 1:1; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2).
You are God’s workmanship—His handiwork—born anew in Christ to do His work (Ephesians 2:10).
You are a fellow citizen with the rest of God’s family (Ephesians 2:19).
You are righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24).
You are a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Ephesians 2:6; Philippians 3:20).
You are hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).
You are chosen of God, holy and You are dearly loved (Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4).
This is WHO YOU ARE!
To people who were facing discouragement, adversity within and without, complacency and in danger of losing sight of their first love… Paul speaks these life giving words of love, grace, encouragement, and praise.
He knew, His words carried weight. And his words lightened the weight they were carrying.
And so do yours.
How will you use your words?
Your words carry weight. And your words lighten the weight others carry.
My guess is, generally speaking, there are two kinds of people reading this.
Some of you are like a healthy tree.
You’re healthy. You’re thriving. You’re flourishing. You’re growing! You’ve got deep roots that are growing down into the rich soil of God’s great love and you’ve got ready wings that are strengthened, renewed, energized, and ready to fly because the Spirit of the Living God is living inside of you.
If that’s you, praise God!
If that’s you, you’ve probably got people speaking words of life into you on a regular basis.
But some of us, maybe many of us, are a little more like a dying tree.
We haven’t been watered for days, or weeks, or months. Maybe years! We are not healthy. We are not thriving, not flourishing, not growing. We’ve got shallow roots that are holding on for dear life.
The next storm that rolls in or even just the next gust of wind might pull up our roots and knock us over, if we’re being honest.
If that’s you, you probably don’t have anyone speaking words of encouragement, support, or life into you.
No matter where you are on this spectrum, I want to encourage you today.
Maybe you need someone to speak weighty words of life and love into you.
Maybe you need to speak weighty words of life into someone else.
Will you do that today?
Your words carry weight. And your words lighten the weight others carry.
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