Do you have a vision for your family?
I do. And I’m guessing my vision for your family isn’t that different from your ultimate vision for your family. Here’s what I mean. Even if you haven’t taken time to clearly articulate what you want to be true for your family, you still know deep down what your hopes are for your marriage, for your kids, for your grandkids, & on & on. In fact, it’s these innate desires that frustrate you to know end when they go unrealized & unmet. This is because at the end of the day there are certain things that are that important to you when it comes to your family. The truth is, sometimes it’s helpful to name them.
So here is my vision for your family. See if it’s a vision that you would love to be true of your family.
My Vision for Your Family:
- Your spouse never has a doubt that except for God, they are number 1 in your life.I want this to be true in our home. I don’t want Alisha to ever doubt that after God, she comes first. I don’t want her to ever have to worry about that or wonder where she stands with me. I don’t want our kids to have to guess either. I love my kids. Man, I love them so much. But I want them to know I love her more & I love God most. I want this to be so evident that I don’t even have to say it. But I want to say it & I want to say it often. Because there may be no more powerful words in the universe than the words, “I love you.”
- That those who know you best respect you most.I first discovered this idea from Mark Batterson who wrote about this in his book, The Circle Maker. But I love this thought I want this too. I want my family, my wife & my kids, those who know me better than anyone else in the entire world, to respect me most. They’re going to see me at my highest high & my lowest low. They’re going to be around on my good days & bad days. And through it all, I want to live in such a way that those who know me best respect me most. I want my life & my actions to match up in such a way with what I say I believe that they never have to question that & they have the utmost respect for me.
- Your kids have an identity rooted in who they are in Christ above all else.I borrowed this idea from a mentor & friend as well. I make a practice of asking other dads, especially dads who are further down the road than I am & who are raising great kids this question, “What did you do right in raising your kids?” I ask that question because any parent could make a list a mile long of all the things they did wrong! We’ve all been there as parents. But I’m more interested in what are the one or two things they felt like they got right. One dad told me that he made a practice of telling his children every night before bed who they were. He would tell them, “You are beautiful, wonderful child of God.” This was there identity. It wasn’t wrapped up in what they did, what they were good at, or anything else. This is their core identity. And even now, when I ask my kids at night the question, “Who are you?” My eyes light up when they respond, “I’m a beautiful, wonderful child of God.” Yes, you are. That’s who you are. Never forget it.
- Your family makes space for others.The gravitational pull of the family is always towards the inside, isn’t it? It’s so easy to get consumed in what we have to do just to take care of the needs of our family, our kids, our schedules, the house, etc. But I believe something powerful happens when we practice making room for others in our lives, in our homes & in our schedules. It reminds us that we are a part of a larger faith family. That there are those outside our immediate family who need our love & attention. That we have a responsibility of sharing our lives with others. And that in every aspect of making space for others in our lives we receive a blessing. I could go on & on, but I think you get the point. We have to constantly fight against the gravitational pull to just focus inside the four walls of our family & look for ways to share this life with others. And when we do, in whatever way we do it, we are always blessed because of it!
- One day, you all sit together with your feet in that river that flows by the throne of God.In Revelation 22.1-5, the apostle John paints this beautiful picture of heaven:“Then the angel showed me a river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb. It flowed down the center of the main street. On each side of the river grew a tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, with a fresh crop each month. The leaves were used for medicine to heal the nations.No longer will there be a curse upon anything. For the throne of God and of the Lamb will be there, and his servants will worship him. And they will see his face, and his name will be written on their foreheads. And there will be no night there—no need for lamps or sun—for the Lord God will shine on them. And they will reign forever and ever.”I don’t know about you, but when all is said & done this is what I want to be true for our family. I want to sit by the throne of God & dip my feet in that river. And on my right & on my left, I want my family. And together I want us to worship Jesus like we never have before. I want us to enjoy His presence like we never have before. And from that day forward I want us to enjoy the new heaven & the new earth together in that place where all things are made new & all things are made right. Yea, that’s what I want. I want to experience eternity together with my family.
A wise man once said, “Begin with the end in mind.” I think this is so true when it comes to our families. What is your vision for your family? What do you want to be true of your family? Begin with the end in mind, then do what you need to do through prayer & through practice to raise up that family in this world for the good of others & the glory of God.
May your vision for your family culminate in that place where we will gather together before Jesus in the new heaven & the new earth. Nothing else matters more than this. Nothing. So may Jesus reign in your heart & reign in your home. And may we, together, encourage each other towards a vision for our family that lines up with the heart of God.
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