We Are Family
What does it look like for us to honor God in our homes, in our families?
You’ve probably all heard the verse, “Honor your father and mother,” and if you’re a parent you may use that verse and remind your kids of that verse at opportune times whenever they are giving you a hard time.
I always think about something Mark Twain once said,
“When I was 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
I don’t know about you, but I can relate to that! The older I get, the smarter my dad becomes.
But I don’t think he’s changed all that much, I think I’ve just realized the wisdom, the love, the protective barrier he always tried to put up around me for my good and for my growth, I realize more and more, especially now that I’m a father of three teenagers, just how wise my father and mother have always been!
If you’ve been blessed with good parents, and especially if you’ve been blessed with godly parents, you may have experienced the same thing.
Not everyone has grown up in a good home, in a godly home, and I believe it’s important to acknowledge that. To say that out loud. We live in a broken world and we live in a world of broken families. If you grew up in a home like that, I want you to know that God knows, God sees, and God cares about what you’ve been through. Or maybe even what your currently going through in your home life.
I believe all of that, along with what we see in the world around us, only underscores the importance of our church talking about what it means to build a godly home. To build a good family.
I think there’s a secret to building the family you’ve always wanted. It’s an open secret. But many people don’t know it, others of us seem to forget it.
Just think about it, what DOES it take to build the family you’ve always wanted?
Building a Godly Family
I remember when Alisha and I were just starting out, we had been married for a few years and we had rented a one bedroom apartment for a year and then a little two bedroom house after that. We saved and saved and then finally we were ready to buy our first home. We looked at our options and decided to build a house.
There was a new neighborhood going up in a nearby community. They were in our price range and these weren’t exactly custom homes, but you did get to pick your floor plan and you got to customize some things about the house. And we loved that!
You know what it takes to build a house.
They start with the foundation. And it’s pretty fun to watch these guys pour a foundation when you know it’s the foundation of your new home. Alisha and I would go out to the site nearly every day to see what they were doing, what they were building next. But it all started with a solid foundation.
We know what it takes to build a house. But what does it take to build a home?
My guess is most people have no idea. And I don’t say that to be harsh, I just think that’s the obvious conclusion when you consider the reality that the divorce rate is still high in our country. Add to that, the U.S. has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. (According to Pew Research Center)
Then there’s the impact of technology and media, and how increased screen time and social media has affected our families. Not to mention how the redefinition of family in America is no longer the biblical concept of one man and one woman living faithfully together raising their children.
Somewhere along the way we’ve lost what it means to really be a family and we’ve forgotten the secret to building the kind of family that can stand the test of time.
We know what it takes to build a house. But what does it take to build a family. I would suggest the secret to building the family you’ve always wanted is found in ONE WORD:
HONOR.
Unless the LORD Builds the House
When they framed out our house, Alisha and I went over one night with sharpies and wrote some of our favorite scriptures on those studs. We knew those verses would be covered up by the walls, but we also knew they would always be there and that the WORD of GOD would hold up our home.
Here’s what I want to suggest today: If you want to build the family you’ve always wanted, it’s begins with this:
HONOR GOD.
You find this in one of the most famous and most quoted psalms in all of scripture. Psalm 127. In fact, if you have your Bible or the YouVersion Bible App, let me encourage you to join me in Psalm 127 this morning.
Psalm 127 begins this way…
PSALM 127
1 Unless the LORD builds a house,
the work of the builders is wasted.
Unless the LORD protects a city,
guarding it with sentries will do no good.
So What Does It Look Like for the LORD to Build Your House?
Author and Speaker Priscilla Shirer once said…
“The most valuable thing a parent can do for their child is to show them how to live a life that honors God. Your legacy begins with your example.”
If you’re going to build a house, you’ll probably hire a general contractor—someone who oversees the entire process. They’ll bring in a team.
One group prepares the land. Another pours the foundation. Someone frames it, another puts up the walls and the roof. Then come the painters, the cabinet installers, and the appliance guys. You’ve got plumbers, electricians, inspectors—oh, and don’t forget HVAC! And let’s be honest, we NEED AC, Amen!?
It takes a whole team to build a house. But here’s the deal—when the LORD builds your house, HE is the builder.
He pours the foundation. He IS the foundation. Jesus is the Cornerstone. He drives every nail, He paints every wall, He runs every wire, every pipe—He does it all! And when He builds, He creates a house and a home that no storm can shake, no flood can wash away, no fire can consume!
Now, you can build your own life. You can build your own family. You can choose your own foundation. But if it’s not built on the LORD, it will fail, and it will fall.
The psalmist says, Unless the LORD builds the house, builds the family, the work of the builders, the work of the parents, the grandparents, the church, it’s all wasted. It is in vain if the LORD is not the builder!
Who is Building Your House?
And then the psalmist says this…
2 It is useless for you to work so hard
from early morning until late at night,
anxiously working for food to eat;
for God gives rest to his loved ones.
Anybody feel this way today?
Feel like all your energy and effort are useless? Your burning the candle at both ends, you try to make church a priority, but there is so much to do and there are so many things competing for your time and attention and for your kids time and attention.
You wonder, is it making any difference? Is it useless?
What you’re really wondering is this:
Are my kids going to be ok?
And not just, are they going to be ok, but… Are they going to love Jesus and know Jesus and have the kind of faith that’s going to hold them up when the storms of life hit?
If that’s you, here’s what I want you to know today…
when the LORD builds the house, it stands.
When the LORD builds the house, it lasts.
When the LORD builds the house, it becomes a place of peace, strength, and purpose.
So the question is:
Who’s building your house?
To that question God says, “Allow Me!”
If the LORD Builds the House
If He is the Builder, if He is the Protector, you need to know that you don’t have to worry and you don’t have to work so hard because our God is a God who gives rest to His beloved!
And maybe today you need to hear that. You are God’s beloved and He wants to give you rest. Maybe your tired, your exhausted. Just about every parent I know is!
Maybe today you need to be reminded, God loves your kids more than you do. And it’s not your job to save your kids, salvation is what God does.
Your job is to show and share the love of Jesus with your kids. God’s job is to save them and give them everlasting life.
Should you pray for them? Yes.
Teach them? Yes.
Get them to church? Yes.
Model what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus in every day ordinary ways? Yes!
Should you HONOR God in your family at all times in every way? YES!
But at the end of it all, you place your kids in the hands of our Heavenly Father and you ask that they would grow in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and their fellow man. And you trust that God is working, sometimes in invisible ways, for their good and His glory.
The Gift
You can believe that because…
3 Children are a gift from the LORD;
they are a reward from him.
4 Children born to a young man
are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
5 How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!
He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.
Our kids are a GIFT from GOD!
You may say, have you met my kids!? lol! Our kids, all of our kids, are a gift from our Father in Heaven who is the GIVER of every good and perfect gift!
Psalm 127 is called a psalm or a song of ascent. This is in a collection of songs that pilgrims would sing as they ascended the mountain going up to Jerusalem, up to the Temple, to worship.
They would sing this song with their family and with other families on their way to worship the King of kings and the Lord of lords.
They would sing this song and others like it declaring with their families the goodness of our God and their total dependance on Him to build up their family and protect their family.
They sang this song and others like it and as they did, they HONORED GOD.
It’s a secret, it’s an open secret, but so many people don’t know it and others have forgotten it, if you want to build the family you’ve always wanted it begins and ends with HONOR.
A Leaning Tower
So let me just ask the question, Are you honoring God in your home? In your family? Are you allowing the LORD to build your house and protect your family?
OR…
Are you relying on your own energy and effort just hoping that your kids will be ok and that they will find their way?
This is a picture of the Tower of Pisa. You probably know the story.
It was built in the 12th century in Italy as a freestanding bell tower for the cathedral in Pisa. Construction began in 1173 but continued over nearly 200 years because of challenges created because it’s foundation was built on soft, unstable soil and because of interruptions caused by wars.
The soil beneath the tower is composed of clay, sand, and silt and it’s unable to properly support the weight of the tower. Because of that, it will always lean. Engineers have worked to reduce it’s lean and stabilize it so it will keep standing.
Maybe you look at this and you think, yea… that’s a pretty good picture of my family. We’re standing, but we’re leaning.
And here’s what I would want you to know today.
Foundations Matter
First, foundations matter. Honoring God in your family matters. And unlike the engineers that have tried to fix the foundation under the tower of Pisa, you have the opportunity today to honor God at home, in your family, and invite God to do what modern engineers cannot.
Invite God not just to fix your foundation, but to be your foundation. Invite Jesus to be your Cornerstone. And allow the LORD to build and protect your house, your home, your family, your kids.
You can’t honor God at church and then dishonor God at home.
You can’t honor God’s church at church and then dishonor God’s church at home.
You want your kids to love God. Great. You may not know this, but you also want your kids to love God’s church. To love God and love the people of God!
The best thing you can do for your family is speak well of God and speak well of God’s church. It’s a priceless gift you give to your kids.
If you want your kids to worship Jesus.
Worship Jesus.
If you want your kids to serve others.
Serve others.
If you want kids to be givers.
Give.
etc…
When it comes to kids, you get what you are!
Foundations matter. Honoring God in your family matters
Leverage Your Lean
Second, remember that your lean may be your best leverage to point people to Jesus. Somewhere along the way we were sold the lie that we have to have it all together, that we have to have it all worked out, that we have to be perfect. But we don’t.
It’s ok to not be ok!
God’s grace is sufficient for you, for your family, and for us. And chances are, whatever it is that has caused your lean, you’re not the only one. And you can leverage your lean, your story, to encourage and bless and build up someone else. The most powerful words we can say may be,
“I’ve been there, too. I know what you’re going through.”
And by the way, that’s just one of the ways we honor God and God allows us to partner with Him to build up others.
your lean may be your best leverage to point people to Jesus.
We know what it takes to build a house, but what does it take to build a home, to build a family?
If you want to build the family you’ve always wanted it begins with this…
Invite the presence of our God into every part of your family.
And as you do, Honor Him.
Honor Him
Honor Him in your conversations with each other. Honor Him in the decisions you make about what to watch and what you do. Honor Him when you say “Yes” to things and when you say “No” to things. Honor Him when you’re alone and when you’re together.
Honor Him by turning to Him to help you in times of need and praise Him when things are good. Honor Him by talking about Him every day when you wake up, before you go to sleep, when you’re on your way to the next game or the next thing.
Don’t limit God’s presence in your family to Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights.
Invite God’s presence into the everyday ordinary ways of your family life.
We live in a world where the battle for the hearts and souls of our children and our families is constant. We are always under attack. But when we honor God in our homes, when we lift Him up in our families, when we turn to Him in our times of need, and trust Him in the middle of uncertainty, we build our families on the firm foundation of His love.
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