what do we do when we pray and nothing changes?

Forgiving God: Unanswered Prayer

What do you do with unanswered prayer?

If you’re like me, somewhere along the way life didn’t go the way you expected.  At some point in your journey you needed God & it felt like He abandoned you. You prayed a prayer & it felt like it went unanswered. And ever since that day, ever since whatever happened to you, your relationship with God has not been the same.

Maybe like those who believed in God through the centuries, like those who needed God all throughout scripture, you’ve prayed these kinds of prayers…

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
Psalm 13.1-2

O Lord, why do you stand so far away? Why do you hide when I am in trouble?
Psalm 10.1

How long, O Lord, will you look on and do nothing?
Psalm 35.17

I am sick at heart. How long, O Lord, until you restore me?
Psalm 6.3

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help?
Psalm 22.1

“O God my rock,” I cry, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I wander around in grief…
Psalm 42.9

How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen! “Violence is everywhere!” I cry, but you do not come to save.
Habakkuk 1.2

Wake up, O Lord! Why do you sleep? Get up! Do not reject us forever.
Psalm 44.23

O Hope of Israel, our Savior in times of trouble, why are you like a stranger to us?
Jeremiah 14.8

Why then does my suffering continue? Why is my wound so incurable? Your help seems as uncertain as a seasonal brook, like a spring that has gone dry.”
Jeremiah 15.18

Why do you continue to forget us? Why have you abandoned us for so long?
Lamentations 5.20

Are unanswered prayers really God’s greatest gift?

In 1991, there was a new hit song that made No. 1 on Billboard’s Hot Country Songs chart. Garth Brooks co-wrote & recorded a song that was based on his own life experience. The song was called, “Unanswered Prayers.”

The song is basically the story of a Friday night when Garth & his wife went back to his hometown. They went to a football game at the high school where he grew up. It was there that they ran into Garth’s high school sweetheart.

In the song, Garth tells the story of remembering the days when he prayed & prayed to God that they would be together forever. Of how he just knew she was the one. But… God didn’t answer that prayer. Instead, Garth would leave that school, one day meet the woman who became his wife &, because of that, his life turned out very differently than it probably would have otherwise.

So the hook in the song is this line that says, “Maybe God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

What do we do with unanswered prayer?

The story makes for a great country song. Boy meets girl. Boy prays that they would be together forever. Boy breaks up with girl. Boy meets another amazing girl & lives happily ever after with a multi-million dollar country music career.

But my guess is that many of us would not say that “God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

As a pastor, I am blessed to be in the room with people during some of life’s most heartbreaking moments. I’m blessed to pray with a lot of people who are really hurting. And I have prayed so many prayers for people that have seemingly gone unanswered. And I think I can speak on behalf of those I’ve prayed for in those moments. I think they would say, “No… we wish God would answer that prayer.”

We wish God would heal our friend.

Or bring the child back to life.

Or mend the broken relationship.

We wish God would wake her from the coma.

We wish God would hear our prayer to change his heart & make him a better father & a better husband.

We wish God would hear our prayer & heal our mom.

We wish God would remove that desire to drink, or that desire to do drugs from that person we love.

We wish God would…

And we pray. We pray with all the faith we can muster.

The Truth About Prayer

And we quote the verses in scripture that remind us about the truth of prayer. And these words are truth…

I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.Mark 11.24, Jesus

And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.1 John 5.14-15, John

I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. Mark 11.23, Jesus

But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! John 15.7, Jesus

…always pray and never give up.Luke 18.1, Jesus

So we pray & we pray & we pray… but what do we do when we pray & God doesn’t answer?

What happens when we pray in faith, when we pray believing, & things don’t change?

I think the problem of unanswered prayer may be one of the most difficult questions of faith.

Unanswered prayer may be the reason you or someone you know stopped believing in God. If God is good & God is real & we cry out to him & he doesn’t act, maybe God isn’t real. And if He is real, he certainly isn’t good.

The root of your discontent with God may be the reality that you prayed a prayer that you needed God to answer & for reasons unknown to you, it felt like those prayers went largely unanswered.

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Paul’s Story…

If you have a pain that won’t go away, if you’ve experienced unanswered prayer, you’re not the only one.

Other than Jesus Christ, the one person who has probably had the most influence on Christianity is the Apostle Paul.

Paul was planting churches before we knew what church planting was. Paul was taking mission trips before we knew what mission trips were. Paul was writing & speaking & traveling the world telling everyone about Jesus before there were conferences to speak at, blogs to read & Amazon to sell your books.

Paul wrote over half of your New Testament. People read the words he wrote every day all around the world in hundreds of different languages & they find that his words bring them closer to God.

But Paul experienced what many of you are experiencing. He experienced personal pain. He experienced what felt like unanswered prayer. He experienced incredible hardship in his life.

Listen to what Paul writes here, in 2 Corinthians 12.7-10.

So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

Have you ever picked up a rose & had a thorn prick your finger? Or have you ever picked up a piece of wood & gotten a splinter in your hand?

The word for thorn here literally means splinter.

People have wondered for hundreds of years… What was Paul’s thorn in the flesh? What was this “splinter” that he’s talking about here?

Some people think it was some kind of physical pain, or limitation or sickness.
Some people think it was some kind of temptation that wouldn’t go away.
Some people think it was the opposition he was facing as he was trying to advance the gospel message.

The truth is, we have no idea what Paul’s pain was. We have no idea what his thorn in the flesh was. He thought God allowed him to have this pain, to suffer in this way, to keep him humble. To keep him from becoming proud.

If you’ve gotten a splinter before, then you know it hurts. It is painful. And when you can’t get the splinter out, there’s a constant throbbing pain that won’t go away.

When I was a kid I remember getting a splinter in my hand. My dad would take his Buck knife out of his pocket. That’s when I would turn my head & look the other way. I only had to ask my dad once when I needed help getting a splinter out of my hand. Whenever I asked, he would stop what he was doing, take out his pocket knife, & remove that splinter.

But that’s not what happens for Paul when he prays to his Heavenly Father for help.

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.

Three times…

Paul’s prayer to remove the thorn, whatever it was, felt like it went unanswered. God didn’t do it.

Whatever Paul was facing, he prayed over & over again for God to take it away. But God didn’t.

A Broken Hallelujah

In 1984, another song was released that you probably know by a Canadian singer named Leonard Cohen entitled, Hallelujah.

Unlike the song Unanswered Prayer by Garth Brooks, this song didn’t hit the Billboard charts right away. In fact, it wouldn’t even make the Top 100 until many years later.

But inside this song are these words…

And it’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

A broken hallelujah. That sounds more like the prayers of so many people I know who are waiting on God.

Some of you are praying today for things you urgently need & it feels like those prayers are not being answered.

So here’s what I’m not going to do today. I’m not going to tell you some story where someone prayed & eventually God came through & everything worked out & all was well.

What I want to tell you is the truth. That sometimes you will pray & you will pray & you will pray for a long time, & that prayer, whatever it is, may feel like it has gone unanswered.

But I want to tell you this too: Don’t stop praying.

Don’t stop praying.

Why?

Because God did give Paul a word of hope. And this word reveals God’s goodness in the middle of our brokenness. Because Paul prayed & prayed for 14+ years, & this is what Paul heard God say…

Each time he [God] said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

Another translation says it this way…

“My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.”
— AMP

So Paul says… “now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

And the same is true for you…

God’s grace is sufficient for you. His power works best in your weakness.

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A Thorn in the Flesh

Both Jesus & Paul had a thorn in the flesh experience. We don’t know what Paul’s thorn in the flesh was. But we know that Jesus had a crown of thorns placed on His head & pressed into his flesh.

Sometimes we pray, & it feels like those prayers go unanswered. But what Paul realized is that God was enough. What Jesus knew was that God the Father was near.

Don’t mistake God’s perceived silence as God’s absence.

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God’s grace, His presence in your life is enough. Knowing Jesus is enough. You can take everything else away, but as long as you have Jesus, Jesus is enough for you.

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Today, if you’re hurting… today, if you’re praying & it feels like those prayers aren’t being heard… please hear these words, that nothing can separate you from God’s love. That his grace is enough for you. That His power works best in our weakness.

Take one look at the cross.

His power works best in weakness.

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