Sometimes our family looks like this…
And sometimes our family looks like this…
What does your family look like?
Your family probably looks different from my family. And that’s ok. Families look different.
When I think of families I think of houses. Houses look different. Some are one story, some are 2 stories & some are more. Some have big yards, some have pools, some are on a cul-de-sac. Some are brick, some have siding. Some are tall, some are skinny. Some have had additions or had damage & had to have major repairs or renovations. Every house is different with different features. Every house is different with different needs. But every house has one thing in common. One thing that is necessary for the house to stand – a solid foundation.
Maybe a better question is, What does a faith-filled family look like?
I think this is an important question for every family to wrestle with. And there probably isn’t a definitive answer or perfect formula to create a picture perfect family. That’s because God never called you to have a picture perfect family. He’s asked you to build the family you have on the solid foundation of His Son Jesus. But what does that family look like? What’s true of that family?
[Tweet “God calls you to build your family on the solid foundation of His Son Jesus. “]I think we can go ahead & assume the obvious answers. A faith-filled family prays together, reads the Bible together, worships together & belongs to a local church where they are actively involved in the larger faith family. But what else is true of a family that is building its foundation on Jesus? Think about that question & see what you come up with. As I’ve been reflecting on it, here’s a few of my ideas that I believe are true & I hope will become true of my family.
5 Traits of a family that is building its foundation on Jesus:
1. A faith-filled family is led by parent(s) who take seriously their personal walk with Jesus.
According to Kenda Creasy Dean in her book, Almost Christian, “When it comes to your children, parents ‘get what they are’ religiously.” If that’s true, then we as parents have even more reason to take seriously our own relationship with Jesus Christ. I also love what Dr. Jim Burns says along this same idea. He says the best thing you can do for your kids is let them catch you being spiritual. It’s not bad thing for your kids to interrupt your personal quiet time. It’s not a bad thing for your kids to see you with your Bible open, your hands raised in worship or to hear you singing your heart out to a worship song in the car — even if they laugh at you in the moment! What they’re witnessing is you pursuing Jesus Christ in your own life. And if Dean & Burns are right, & I think they are, then the impact you’re having in that moment is more significant than you can imagine.
(FYI – thw book Almost Christian is $2.99 in the Kindle Store – so parents, click to grab a copy & read it!)
Let your kids catch you in the act of doing something spiritual. It's great role modeling!
— Jim Burns (@drjimburns) April 1, 2015
2. A faith-filled family is led by parent(s) who are low drama.
Another way to say this is that this family is led by people who are peace-filled. I love these lyrics by Matt Redman from his song, “Songs in the Night.” He writes:
And so when I am in the storm
Lord, the storm is not in me
You will be my peace
I’ll wait here
I believe this presence of being peace-filled parents even when the storms of life, whatever they are, are raging around us speaks louder than words to our children about our faith, where our hope is & in Whom our confidence rests. Make no mistake about it, kids see how we respond in the moment. They notice. And they know how most people often respond in the moment when the unexpected happens, when tragedy strikes, when you get frustrated. So when you as Mom, as Dad, respond in a different, peace-filled way, it makes an impression. It leads them to think, “Why?” And they’ll learn the answer to your peace-filled response is less about you & more about Who you’re trusting in that moment.
[Tweet “Being peace-filled parents speaks louder than words to our children about our faith.”]3. A faith-filled family leverages every opportunity to talk about God & acknowledges His presence in ordinary, everyday ways.
I don’t think we can overstate this. And I don’t think we have to be cheesy about it either. But there’s something that happens in the family that has God as a part of the natural conversation in their home. There’s something that’s transformative for those kids that grow up acknowledging that God is with us & for us & in us. This is where families have a chance to water on a daily basis the growing faith of our children & help them see God’s presence all around us, His care for those around us, His hand at work in the circumstances around us & our trust in Him even when we can’t see Him moving.
4. A faith-filled family owns the responsibility of passing on faith to their kids, their grandkids, & the generation after that.
There’s no doubt that the Biblical model of passing down faith from one generation to the next is primarily through the family. This is God’s design & God’s desire. The question, then, is will we own this? We live in a culture where we drop our kids off for piano lessons & expect them to learn piano. We drop them off for baseball practice & expect them to learn the sport. We drop them off for dance & expect them to learn ballet. And for some reason we apply the same logic to church. So we drop our kids off for church & expect them to become life-long followers of Jesus. Don’t misunderstand me, the church plays an important & significant role in the lives of our kids! No doubt! But it can never & should never take the place of our role & responsibility as parents for the faith of our children. If anything, we need to partner with the local church & work together to raise up the next generation of Jesus followers.
5. A faith-filled family sees their place in the larger story of the people of God.
Something that was true of the first followers of Yahweh is that they always understood their place in the larger story of God. Even today, when children who are raised in the Jewish faith speak of the scriptures, they think of it as their story. Not just a story. In their book, Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, Ann Spangler & Lois Tverberg say,
“Because Jewish people understand that Scripture tells the story of their people, they commonly use the pronoun “us” when discussing various stories in the Bible.” I love that. As we raise our children wouldn’t it be great to help them see their place in the larger story of the people of God? Maybe we should adopt these “us” pronouns when we tell the great stories of God’s activity in delivering His people throughout the ages. When we gain this context in our lives we see God’s work on a larger scale & begin to understand what it means to be a part of the people of God.
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