It’s Not Easy Being a Mother!
To quote the great philosopher Dorothy from the The Golden Girls:
“It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, father’s would do it!”
– Dorothy
As a father I can testify, that is a true statement!
Is there a greater gift in this life than having a mother who loves us, nurtures us, prays for us, is patient with us, helps us, and constantly supports us?
We all need someone to nurture us so we can flourish, grow, and thrive.
That’s what happened for one young girl who graduated from the University of Sakarya in Kocaeli, Turkey in 2018 with her law degree.
Anytime you graduate from law school, it’s a big deal. But for Berru Merve Kul this was an incredible accomplishment. You see, Berru is visually impaired. She’s legally blind.
And the University of Sakarya where she went to school did not have any accommodations for visually impaired students. She didn’t have access to anything in Braille. Nothing available on audio. You may be wondering, how in the world did she do it?
The only way she was able to do this was because of her mother. For four years of law school, her mother read to her all of her text books and lecture notes and helped her with all of her homework.
And on her graduation day, after receiving her diploma, Professor Mahmut Bilen called Berru’s mother, Havva, to the stage. The university knew what she had done. How for four years this woman had read every text book, every lecture note, helped with every homework assignment.
She had essentially earned a law degree as well. And so they presented her with an honorary law degree in recognition of all she had done for her daughter!
We all need someone to nurture us so can flourish, grow, and thrive.
Skipping the Process
We live in a world where stories like this actually make the news. This kind of love and devotion grabs our attention and everyone stands in awe.
And on the one hand, it is uncommon. It is unusual. But on the other hand, it’s what mothers all around the world do on a daily basis. Sometimes in big ways, but always in smaller, ordinary, every day kind of ways. This self sacrificing, care-full, nurturing kind of love that is uniquely found in our mothers.
The world we live in doesn’t really value this idea of nurture. To nurture someone or something carries with it this idea of caring for someone or something over some length of time. It’s this idea of providing care, support, love, attention, and fostering an environment where someone or something can grow, flourish, and thrive.
We realize this is the only way plants grow and this is the only way people grow.
But this is not the world our kids are growing up in, is it?
The world our kids are growing up in expects them to show up and just be great.
We want a team of kids that can already hit home runs, catch touchdown passes, and score goals and win.
We want a classroom of kids who can show up and make all A’s.
And so our kids feel this constant pressure to succeed, excel, be perfect, and WIN so they can receive our love.
We say things like, “Trust the process.” But the truth is we want everyone to skip over the process and just be great.
We don’t want to NURTURE anyone or anything.
But we all need someone to NURTURE us so we can flourish, grow, and thrive.
Kids are kind of like trees.
Before a tree grows up it has to grow down.
It takes deep roots to grow a great tree.
It takes time over time, attention, care, nurture, sacrifice, and love.
A Mother’s Love
How do we do that?
Maybe the best way is to look at the way a mother loves, cares for, and nurtures her children.
Having a mother or a mother figure in your life who loves the Lord above all else is a priceless gift. A mother who loves the Lord with all of her heart, mind, soul, and strength gives us a sense of security and support unlike anything else!
A praying mother who knows how to intercede for her children, who prays without ceasing for those she loves and cares for, gives us hope in the most uncertain of times. A mother who nurtures our faith in the middle of our own doubts, gives us room to question and struggle while never being far away, provides the safe space we need to come to our own faith.
Having a mother who cares about God and cares for us, who prays with us and for us, who leads us by example and with a heart full of love, humility, strength of character and grace, paves the way for us to catch a glimpse of our God who cares for us.
How do we nurture our kids? How do we create that place of care, support, love, attention, and environment where someone or something can grow, flourish, and thrive.
We all need someone to nurture us so we can flourish, grow, and thrive.
I believe it begins with prayer.
Prayer is a vital part of the process for our kids to grow, flourish and thrive.
Prayer is how we usher our kids into the light of Christ.
What Do We Pray for Our Kids?
And if you don’t know what to pray for when you pray for your kids, could I invite you to pray this prayer found in Ephesians 3.14-21?
14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.
Paul, the author of this prayer, begins with… “When I think of all this…”
What is Paul thinking about?
If you back up and read what Paul writes before he prays this prayer you see that Paul was thinking about God’s incredible plan and God’s great desire to save the world, to save all people, Jew & Gentile alike, so that everyone everywhere can come to know the great love of God revealed in Christ!
When Paul thinks of all this and when he thinks of his friends whom he dearly loves, Paul was moved to prayer.
And when a mother considers all that is in her heart for her kids, God’s incredible plan and God’s great desire to save them, and remembers that in God’s grace she can come boldly before His throne of grace in prayer and worship…
A mother is moved to prayer.
And like Paul, she may very well fall to her knees, praying to the Father, the Creator of everything in Heaven and on Earth.
Spirit Power vs. Will Power
What does Paul pray for his Ephesian friends? What could we pray for our children?
16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.
In case you didn’t know, there is nothing our God can’t do. He is not limited in any way. Everything, everywhere, belongs to Him. He has unlimited resources. You can’t ask God to do something that is outside His ability, resource, power, or supply. His is the God of Abundance. Sovereign over the universe. Whatever you need, He’s got it.
And whatever you need, He is. He can and He will “empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.”
Here’s what Paul knew that we sometimes forget… OUR WILL POWER IS NO MATCH FOR THE WAR THAT IS BEING WAGED AGAINST US!
We think, if we TRY hard enough, we can overcome our addictions, our sin, our problems, our struggles. Maybe we can for an hour, a day, a week, a month. But on our own we will ultimately fall and fail. Our enemy is real, relentless, has nothing to lose and everything to gain.
We need a different kind of power. We need the kind of power that comes from the Spirit of the Living God living inside of us. This is what we pray for our kids.
But Paul doesn’t stop there, and as parents we don’t stop there when praying for our kids. There’s more.
Heart is Where His Home is
We pray that…
17 …Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.
Here’s the Good News for today:
Christ wants to make His home in your heart!
BUT…
Christ can’t coexist with another.
Christ doesn’t want or need a roommate in your heart.
He doesn’t share His throne with anyone.
The question we always have to ask and answer is this:
What or who has taken up residence in your heart?
What or who do you need to evict so Christ can make His home in your heart?
What pride? What sin? What addiction? What control? What worry? What fear?
What or who has taken up residence in your heart other than Christ?
Parents, if I had to guess… there is nothing in this world that would make you happier than for you to know that your child has placed Christ on the throne in their hearts and lives!
BUT… if you want to see this in your kids then your kids need to see this in you!
If you want to see Christ on the throne in their hearts then your kids need to see Christ on the throne in your heart!
This isn’t a call to perfection. This is a call to consistently living in the way of Jesus. Following Jesus with all of your heart, your soul, your mind, your strength. Daily putting your faith and hope in Christ alone. And living out your faith in such a way that your kids can see that nothing in this world matters more to you than Jesus Christ.
Deep Roots
When you do this, when you make room for Christ and Christ alone to take up residence in your heart, as you put your trust in Him, here’s what happens…
When Christ and Christ alone is seated on the throne…
Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.
Imagine that we’ve got two trees. One of these trees is struggling to survive. It may already be dead. It’s had no light, no water, no nutrients, no nurture. So it has no life.
The other tree is growing deep roots and beautiful branches. It is strong because it is being loved and cared for and nurtured and protected on a daily basis. It’s receiving plenty of water, sunlight, nutrients, time, attention, and care. And because of that, it is flourishing.
All throughout this series I’ve asked this question: Which tree are you like?
But now, let’s turn the question and ask: Which tree are your kids like?
Proverbs says is this way:
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22.6, NKJV
That’s a proverb. It’s generally true. It isn’t a perfect formula. We all know stories about kids who grew up with tremendous faith whose parents were far from God. And we all know stories of parents who had tremendous faith whose kids were far from God.
There are exceptions to every rule. But we know that this is true: If we allow Christ to make His home in our hearts and if we trust in Him, our roots will grow down into the rich soil of God’s love and keep us strong.
Experiencing the Love of Christ
And so we pray, for ourselves and for our sons & daughters, that we may…
18 …have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
By the way, there is power in praying scripture. There is power in praying scripture over our kids.
Praying God’s Word, God’s heart, God’s breath on the page for our kids, over our kids, into our kids. When we do that we’re asking God to do something He already wants to do!
Paul wanted his children in the faith to experience the love of Christ. Paul knew, it’s one thing to KNOW ABOUT God. It’s something entirely different to KNOW GOD.
It’s important to know about God. It’s imperative to know God. To learn about His love is one thing, an important thing. To experience His love is something else.
To learn about the cross is one thing, to stand at the foot of the cross and come to grips with what God has done for us through Jesus is something else.
To learn about grace, forgiveness, and eternal life is one thing. To experience grace, to feel the forgiveness of God, to step into eternal life through the waters of baptism… that’s something else entirely.
We may never fully understand or comprehend the great love of God, but we can know it in part. We can experience it in part. And when we do, as we do, we are filled and flooded with the presence of God.
This is what we want for us. This is what we want for our children. This is what God wants for us all.
What prayers are you praying over your kids?
Annie Sherwood Hawks was a mother who lived from 1835-1918. You may have never heard her name but you may have sung her songs.
She wrote over 400 hymns, some of which we still sing today from time to time. In fact, we’ll sing one here in just a moment.
Annie was a mother of three living in Brooklyn, NY. She was a dedicated member of the Hanson Place Baptist Church. One day, on a normal summer day in June, 1872, Annie remember’s going about her normal tasks around the house.
She was doing the thankless jobs every mother does on a daily basis when something happened in Annie. Listen to what she writes as she later reflected on that day:
“Suddenly, I became so filled with the sense of nearness to the Master that, wondering how one could live without Him, either in joy or pain, these words were ushered into my mind, the thought at once taking full possession of me — ‘I Need Thee Every Hour. . . .'”
She sat down and wrote the words to this now familiar hymn:
I need thee every hour,
most gracious Lord;
no tender voice like thine
can peace afford.
I need thee, O I need thee;
every hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to thee.
There’s a difference between knowing about God and knowing God. Between information and experience.
Annie knew God. And she wanted her children to know God. To depend on God. To need God. And to be aware of their need for God.
I can only imagine the impact this had on her three children as they heard their mom singing this song around the house.
Prayer Paves the Way
Prayer paves the way for our kids to know God.
And when we pray for our kids to know God, to know how much they need God, we’re asking God to do in them and for them what God already wants to do in them and for them. God knows they’re growing. He wants to help them grow. He knows they are sometimes struggling. He wants to help them flourish and thrive.
And so we pray that “Christ will make his home in their hearts as they trust in Him!”
We all need someone to nurture us so can flourish, grow, and thrive.
We all need God. And God wants us to know Him.
Paul closes this prayer with this profession of faith.
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
And this is our prayer as well.
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