5 Ways to Love Each Other
Love Each Other
The Apostle John was one of the original 12 disciples of Jesus. By some, he was known as the Beloved Disciple. He was the only disciple of Jesus who lived to be an old man and in his old age, he wrote letters to churches everywhere instructing them to love each other well.
Why?
Because John understood that everything hinges on this one point. If we don’t love each other well, we’ll never be able to point the world to Christ. Everything about our mission, our purpose, our witness, our testimony, and our ability to grow as a disciple of Jesus hinges on this one point, that we love each other well.
So over the past few weeks, I’ve been preaching and writing a series from 1 John about this idea. But today, I thought I would just take a moment to share 5 ways we could do this. You could probably come up with a longer list. These are complete or exhaustive. These are just 5 ways that I believe we can live our John’s desire for us and for believers everywhere to really love each other well.
5 Ways to Love Each Other Well:
1. Give each other the benefit of the doubt.
Can I tell you about a common experience I have?
Whenever I talk to people, especially people who are unhappy about something, every single time I discover that they have made some assumptions that simply aren’t true. They didn’t mean to. But they jumped to conclusions without having all the facts. And here’s the thing, we all do this!
It is much easier for me to assume I know everything than it is to talk with people with whom I am upset and try to learn all the facts.
In my experience, whenever people learn things they didn’t know, it almost always changes their hearts. It may or may not change their mind. They may still think what they think. But it almost always changes their hearts to learn truths they didn’t know and facts they weren’t aware of concerning the “Why” behind decisions that were made that they maybe didn’t like.
So what if we assumed the best about each other and gave each other the benefit of the doubt?
2. Support each other publicly, settle disagreements privately.
What would happen if we agreed to not say unkind things or complain or speak frustration around others about a brother or sister in Christ, period? Why would we? In what way would that honor Christ or build up his church?
Instead, what if we looked for ways to speak well of others in public and when needed, settle conflict privately or within the confidence of 2-3 witnesses as Jesus taught us.
I get it. It’s so much easier to complain to people that we think will agree with us. Psychologists have a name for this kind of behavior. They call it triangulation. Jesus also has a name for this kind of behavior. He calls it sin.
This doesn’t mean we have to all agree about everything. It just means we love each other and we handle conflict and disagreements the way Jesus taught us. Because our aim is to love each other the way Christ loves us!
3. We before me.
The world would tell you to put yourself first. To think only about your own self-interest. To think about your personal preferences and your personal rights.
This may be the American way, but this is not the way of Jesus. And as followers of Jesus, we take our cues from Jesus who died on a cross, not anyone else.
Let’s not put ourselves, our interests, our wants and desires, or our preferences first. Instead, let’s live sacrificially and in every way, put others ahead of ourselves. When you do this you honor Christ and His church.
4. Pray for the person who is hard for you to love.
Ask God to help them, bless them, and empty heaven of every resource upon them. Pray that they will be radically and eternally changed and affected by the love of God. Pray that you will see them and love them the way God loves them. With self-sacrificing love.
What happens for many of us when get upset is that we stop praying for people and we start praying to get our way. But over and over again, Jesus taught us to pray for people and to pray for HIS way! We pray furor enemies. We pray for those who persecute us and hurt us. We pray, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
5. Practice love.
Last, can I suggest that you find a way to serve the hard to love person. Find an act of kindness you can do for them. Put into action the love of God and trust God to use that to build his church and encourage someone.
Here’s what I’ve found over and over again, when we serve each other, we minimize what’s between us and we maximize God’s love for us. We de-emphasize whatever it is that has caused a problem or a rift and we emphasize what matters most: loving each other the way Christ has loved us.
As I said, I’m sure you could come up with your own list. There are countless ways we can love each other and love each other better. But I’m confident that if we love each other the way Christ loves us, it would change everything about us.
May God help us to see people and love people the way He does.
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