Why do our teenagers struggle so much with their faith in God?
It was another one of those Starbucks conversations. I’m sitting on one side of the table. One of our students is sitting on the other side. I’ve been working with students for over 16 years now in ministry & this conversation is all too common. Here’s a student raised in our church, godly parents, baptized, been to camp, mission trips, retreats, etc. And now they’re sitting across the table from me struggling with their faith in God. Wondering if they are really saved. Questioning if church is really for them. And deep down, they’re wondering if God really exists. And if He does, if He really cares.
Why? Why do our students struggle so mightily with their faith? What are we doing to cultivate such a lack of faith in them? What can we do to strengthen their faith in the living God? How can we help them deepen their relationship with Jesus of Nazareth?
For years now it seems the churches I’ve known have been concerned with biblical literacy. And I agree this is important. I want my kids to know the scriptures. I want the students I work with to love the word of God deeply & treasure it. But at the same time, memorizing the twelve tribes of Judah isn’t helping the situation. There’s something more they need to know. SomeOne they need to know. There’s something more critical at stake. We can teach them all about God but we have to teach them to know God as well.
So how can we help?
What can we do? Those of us who are a little further down the road in our faith, how can we help the next generation grab onto & hold onto a real & lasting faith in Jesus Christ? I think this is not only our responsibility, but our calling. It’s not only necessary, it’s essential. And we cannot fail in this mission. Our kids may or may not become professional athletes. They may or may not go to Harvard & win every academic award. Who really cares?! But we cannot fail at this. Our kids have to know Jesus Christ & the great love of God.
[Tweet “We cannot fail at this. Our kids have to know Jesus Christ & the great love of God.”]There are experts who have written extensively on this, of which I am not one! But here’s a few ideas I’ve been considering as I think about the students I work with & my own kids.
Here’s how I think we can help…
ONE: LIVE IT OUT
I’m convinced we have to live out our faith before them.
If our students don’t see the adults in their lives living out their faith in front of them, they’ll have a hard time living out a life of faith as well. Do we as adults struggle with our faith? Do we struggle with the realities of this life & what comes our way? Absolutely. But instead of shielding our teens from that struggle let’s let them in. Let’s allow them to hear our prayers, hear our struggle & our dependance on God through it all. And when God does resolve the tension, answer the prayer, help us through the struggle – that’s when our faith grows. And if they’ve been able to witness our faith through the difficulty & see God’s faithfulness through it their faith will grow too. Philippians 4.
TWO: MAKE IT COUNT
We have to let them see us rely on God for something significant.
For something that counts. Part of our problem, at least for many of us, is that we can do life without God. We feel like we don’t really need anything. If we need it, we have the ability to go get it, go buy it, go take care of it ourselves. We’re not used to waiting for anything. We live in a time when we can get immediate access to whatever we want or need. For us, 2 day shipping with Amazon prime seems like an eternity! And they deliver whatever we want right to our door in 48 hours or less! So waiting on God is simply a discipline we don’t practice. If we have to wait on God very long we would much rather fix the problem ourselves. And in so doing we shortchange ourselves & we shortchange our kids! They don’t get to see God at work if we never rely on him for anything significant! Can we resist the urge to fix something ourselves & instead wait on God to move? I believe if we could, the outcome would be so much better than anything we could have come up with on our own. And when we wait on God & our kids see us waiting on the Lord their dependance on God & their faith in God will grow.
THREE: EVERY DAY FAITH
Let them see that life with God is a daily relationship, not a Sunday event.
Many of our students see that for us, God has been something associated with church on Sunday, a place we go to not a person we experience or do life with every day. Kara Powell in Sticky Faith says that one of the best things you can do is let your kids catch you being spiritual. Reading your Bible, journaling, praying, worshiping, whatever it is you do in your day to stay connected to God… let your kids see your faith active in your daily life. I love it when my kids wake up early in the morning & catch me with my Bible open in one hand & my morning coffee in the other hand. I love their morning snuggles & the chance to read the Bible with them. (Note: my kids are still young. I’m guessing when they’re teenagers they won’t wake up early or want my snuggles!) I distinctly remember with great clarity seeing my mom with her Bible open, or my dad at his desk studying the Word of God. I cherish my granddad’s Bible that is duck tapped bound, tattered & worn from years of use. I have a great legacy of faithful parents & grandparents who have had or have a deep & meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ. And it has had a significant impact on me.
FOUR: MAKE ROOM TO EXPERIENCE GOD
We have to create more margin for our kids to experience God.
This is a hard one because our kids have never been so busy. Two words say it all: travel team! My son is only 8 years old & he could play on a sports team year round already if we let him. We haven’t gone there yet. But I know it only gets more difficult the older your kids get. And it’s not just true of sports. Extracurricular activities abound for our kids no matter their interest. And nothing is sacred anymore. At one time Sunday was still a protected day from different activities. But now students are as likely to miss church on Sunday as they are any other day of the week for practice or what have you. I’m not anti-sports or any other activity our kids are involved in. And I believe we have an unparalleled opportunity to be Light in our communities for Jesus because of these things! BUT… the simple fact of the matter is that our students have less margin than ever in their lives. And sometimes this results in less opportunity to see God at work. They’re so stressed, so tired & so distracted that they don’t see God at work. They’re so busy they have less opportunity to experience God on spiritual retreats, summer camps, mission trips, etc. Their lives have become so over programmed with other good things they don’t have time to do the kinds of things that in the long run have great potential to help their young faith grow. Every time we say yes to one thing, we say no to something else. We have to create margin for them to say yes to some things that will bless them in their relationship with Jesus Christ.
With our kids, we have to begin with the end in mind.
When it’s all said & done, we as parents have one goal in mind. We want our kids to know Jesus Christ. We want to sit with them by the river that flows by the throne of God & join in with all creation singing “Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD God Almighty.” We want to experience the new Heaven & the new Earth with them. We want them to know the grace & love of God. We want them to live lives advancing the Kingdom of God. We can miss on a lot of things with our kids, but we can’t miss on this. We spend a lot of time & energy helping them achieve great things athletically, academically, etc. But none of that matters when it’s all said & done. One thing matters. Do they know Jesus?
God help us to raise our kids to know You. May they take that long walk with You in the same direction.
